(:

He never ceases to amaze me with how good of a boyfriend he is to my witto baby, Christine (:


cssdtm (2:42:43 AM): like all i get to do is work and stuff
cssdtm (2:42:46 AM): and i have no phone
cssdtm (2:42:52 AM): but every night i go on AIM
cssdtm (2:42:57 AM): (this is lame sounding)
cssdtm (2:43:01 AM): and she makes it all worth it
a lees s uh h (2:43:06 AM): AWWW
a lees s uh h (2:43:09 AM): wth dude
a lees s uh h (2:43:13 AM): how freaking cute!
cssdtm (2:43:26 AM): ya i know
cssdtm (2:43:34 AM): i usually dont get like this
cssdtm (2:43:41 AM): but recently its been great!



READ THIS CHRISTINE (:

Mmm..

Haven't felt this way in so long about anyone.. It's a shame that everything happened at the most horrible timing. I hate that I'm so upset right now.. because I'm probably the furthest from being a sad/upset person period ha.. But right now I am. And yeah, it might be someones "fault" but damn sure it's my fault too. I feel my heart down in my stomach right now hah. I just can't believe this is happening. Or maybe I'm assuming too quickly.. hah but I doubt it. I was always told to prepare for the worst.. which is what I'm doing right now. But I just can't see any of it going through right now. I can't process anything ha.. I wish things could go back.. but we can only move forward. I can't keep living in the past or even the future. What I hate the most about this.. is that so much was found out during the bad parts.. things that should have been said when things were at least okay. It's things that will never have a chance to be fixed and I'll be wondering for a long time what could have been. But I know I shouldn't.. At one point I thought or acted like I felt so much hatred towards the person. But in reality I was just running away from what I really felt.. which was obviously completely opposite.. haha. How could I hate, yknow? Even if it might be the scenario for the other person hah.. I'm just so scared. Scared of feeling this way. Scared of feeling something I haven't felt in nearly two or three years.. the feeling of losing someone so close to me.. that was seriously one of the worst feelings.. The fact that I want to be friends or at least keep in touch with that person.. but I know I can't. The firs time something similar to this happened.. I right away wanted things to be okay, for us to be friends.. But that was so much harder.. and a year later is when we could finally stand to be around each other.. ha sad. I'm just scared this might take even longer. As each day passes and each and everytime I talk to this person.. the more afraid I am. I hate how we go everyday talking casualy pretending like nothings wrong and after the bad things will become good and we'll be "friends".. that's not going to happen. I won't let it happen. I already see it happening to one of my best friends.. it's not healthy for her. I don't and won't end up doing stupid things to get my "mind off it" because when the day ends or at a part of a day when I'm sane.. it'll still be there. The part of me thinking.. "I wish I knew what you wanted" because I wouldve in a heart beat. I guess this just sums up that it's too late.. I'm scared I'm giving up now..


"Kiss me quick, but make it last.
So I can see how badly this will
hurt me when you say Goodbye."




P.S. This is the most ma'arte, emo, kawawa, dramatic blog ever HAHAHAHAHA...





_Yours always, Alyssa.

HEY

Hey hey hey







hey














hey







hey






















hey







hey













hey..






Guess what?
















































IMYalot, LOWKEY THOUGH.













P.S. I thought this was super nice, cute ofathing said
"I would call you to pick me up after.. just in case I was super upset but you have school."
"How come you didn't tell me first, I'll pick you up.. what time?"
"You think that shits gonna go on for like 3 hours?"
Hahahahahahaha aww my bff cares for me :'D






Just preparing for the worst y'know (: .... =/...... :(




_Lyss

<3

cssdtm: go on facebook and accept my request to date you LOL




Unfortunately that was not to me HAHAHA. Seriously, why can't I have a white ginger, who looks like Rupert Grint, Filipino-washed with cute ass manners, sings well, and is NOT a dick!? I'm really jealous of you Christine hahahaha.



_lyss.

See this heart
Wont settle down
Like a child running scared from a clown
l'm terrified of what you'll do
my stomach screams just when I look at you

Run far away
So I can breath
Even though your far from suffocating me
I can't set my hopes too high
Cuz every hello ends with a goodbye

Listen to Catch Me - Demi Lovato.. don't laugh it's good okay!? HAH

Whooooaa

baby



Can't seem to find the strength to put what I really feel on here anymore ahah. Maybe I'm too lazy.. probably! Ehhh.. made another thing.. but I'm gonna keep it secret for a while because it has some serious shit on there ahah. Mm so I'm gonna make this a happy blogspot.. yeah babybaaayyybeeehhh! (:




She's freakin' illll! (: The second person, anyways haha she's like 2! JK HAH like 10 maybe 12ish.. dope though!

Weeeirrrrddd..

After a while.. things that matter so much fall silent.. to people anyways. My mind still races everyday from this subject to this one and eventually back to the originating one.. It's funny how things always seems to work out like that.. You can go from one place to another and to another and so on.. but eventually you just go back to where you originally started.. hmmppphhh.. found that kind of weird. Mm but anyways.. I found myself talking to a friend or new friend! that I'd never think of talking to. Because.. I don't know ahah.. But anyways.. I found myself talking to this person about some things I've been trying to.. mm not really avoid but try not to because I feel as if my emotions aren't worth spending time on it.. Although it seems to be something I think about at least once a day ahah. But anywho.. it was good finally talking about it again.. realizing "Hmm.. oh yeah, this is why I keep thinking about it" and it being a good thing. These past two months or so.. I've felt so.. I can't put my finger on it.. but feel as if my mind was so jumbled and everything seemed so complicated when there was no need of it. I now feel like everything is simply falling into place... not place but unraveling. Unraveling into something simpler for me to analyze. It's things like these that make me realize why I've stayed for so long and why my faith in this hasn't completely died out yet.. even if it had died out on the other end.. hmmm... It just felt good hearing that someone.. even if I'm not as close as the other end is.. has faith in it.


OH AND THIS MADE MY DAY (:

(1:53:54 AM): we had no one there for us

(1:54:01 AM): soo it's good to make it easier

(1:54:54 AM): on someone

(1:54:55 AM): we love

(1:55:04 AM): aww (:

(1:55:12 AM): thank youuu!

_Alyssa

Really

like this verse

"This time of night I could call you up
I'd get angry with athletic ease, break common laws in twos and threes
If I die clutching your photograph
Don't call me boring, It's just 'cause I like you
Take me on back... take me back
To the place where I could feel your heart
Is this the end or just the start of
Something really, really beautiful
Wrapped up and disguised as something really, really ugly"

_Alyssa

KAYCEE MENDOZA

This blog is for the one and only Kaycee Mendoza...



"hahah well you have something to write about in your blog! hahaha"



Yeeeahhh thaassss all I'm puttin' 'cause that shit was way too embarrassing ahahaha. (:




_Alyssa

WOW

"Obviously, being fickle isn't a good long-term attitude for building a relationship so enjoy your freedom one day at a time."

KD: Damn you're pretty fickle.





WHATHEFUCK.. Excuse my language! BUT! Dude! Up until like last week I didn't even know what fickle meant until KD said it to me and then I read it in my horoscope! WOW! I'm thinkin' it's a sign.. hahahaha. (That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned) Okay I had to finish the song but REALLY!? Who says fickle! KD.. I think you're writing these horoscopes man!!!! Hahahaha. Wow...



Well tonight was fun..!!!!!!! Lo picked me up then we picked up Mi then to Thai BBQ then we went to Miah's Lola's hahaha then Lauren's then drove and got zee pups.. brought them to Alyssa Cip's then I went home.. Then got kidnapped and .. I can't go on any further HAHAHAHAHA! Nick and Norah's? Def! Well pretty much my mission was to help rescue someone.. in something I would not normally wear... hahahah oh noooo.. Thought I would die but turns out the world was asleep ahah. 'Twas great. Probably got even sicker from all that bad environment stuff! GOSH I really thought I was going to die.. hahaha. Whatever.. ain't mahhh thaannggg! Won't be happening for a while. YEAH! Suuuper interesting.. much more than I though hahah. Mm yup.. and SERIOUSLY!? I'm starting to think it's not a coincidence anymore.. it's just plain blehhhh... hahaha. Mmm yeah!I'm rambling... GOODNIGHT :D

BOMB

_A

"The irony of love is loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right, and finding out that you love someone right after that person has walked out of your life. Sometimes you think you’re already over a person, but when you see them smile at you, you suddenly realize that you’re just pretending to be over them, just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again. For some, letting go is one way of expressing how much they love a person, but for others it’s holding on to that special feeling as long as possible before it fades away. Most relationships tend to fail not because of the absence of love, love is always present, it’s just that one was being loved too much and the other wasn’t being loved enough. We all know that the heart is the center of the body, but it beats on the left. maybe that’s the reason why the heart is not always right. Most often, we fall in love with the person we think we love only to discover that for them, we are just a pass time, while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger. So here’s a piece of advice: let go when you are hurting too much. Give up when you or the other believes love isn’t enough, and move on when things are not like before. there is someone out there who will honestly love you, and only then will you know true love."

lyssa

Mmmm

I love this song for some reason! HA
PS Happy Birthday Jeremy!




_Lyss

Wooooo! Dude.. Rupert Grint aka Ron Weasley is so freaking cuuuutee! Oh my goodness (: I can't get over him hahah. And Emma Watson aka Hermione Granger got reaaaal pretty! DUDE and then Cormac McLaggen guy.. OH my! He was suuuper cute tooooo (: I'm not sure what happened to Harry though.. hahahah. But over all I love the movie! I don't know but this Harry Potter seemed so much funnier than all the rest! Muhahah I couldn't stop laughing! Although it dragged sometimes, I still really liked it! So.. if you're down to watch it again.. you know what to do ;D 'Cause I am! (: Hahaha ahhh.



Sheeeesh. Last night was so fun! The long awaited sleepover hahah. I didn't really sleep til like 8 -___- 'cause I just couldn't aha and then all the sudden everyone was awake at 9:30! And I was on Miah's little "couch built into the wall".. gaaah that shit was SOO small =[ Haha it's okay though. Mmm Yeee.. I love telling/hearing scary stories! Haha maan it's so fun! I love that feeling of being scared ahah. Mmm well this is kinda getting lengthy and I don't feel like writing anymore hahaha BYE!




_Lyss

ILoveBeyonce<3

llvlleexha (12:46:15 AM): was she like poppin it and errthang?

a lees s uh h (12:46:24 AM): hahahah heccckk yeah



No joke though, she's fucking beautiful! 10 millions times prettier in person! Ahhh the concert was one of the best moments of my life! Hahahah all the gay guys sitting by me, my ma, and my sister made it 10 times better! Ahahah ohhhh maaan! I can't get over it! She is so inspirational (: Like when she sang Halo... OH MAN! My favorites were probably Halo, Me Myself and I, Single Ladies, Listen, SAY MY NAME! HAHAHA lol, Idk so much i forget... ahhh!!! :DDDD Now my voice is gone! I want to go to another concert!!! (: I love Beyonce :D



_Alyssa

Happy

One year to me and Gabs...


Well minus a day.. hahaha but!



Happy One Year to me and Gabs and the INCIDENT! HAHAHA Gah dayumn changed our lives FOREVER.


_Lysssss

All Kevin's

a lees s uh h (12:14:31 AM): i want ice cream now!

a lees s uh h (12:14:33 AM): thannnks

a lees s uh h (12:14:34 AM): haha

DTMKEVIN (12:14:37 AM): np

DTMKEVIN (12:14:41 AM): ill just send it over

DTMKEVIN (12:14:43 AM): first class mail

Turn out to be my best friends. Hahah jk.. but this Kevin was my substitute best friend on the cruise! I miss him!



_Alyssa

(:

Maaan oh Manowitts.


Ew hahah. Anywho.. wow. Today was probably one of my favorite days this summer. No joke. Like the OG girls group all together.. minus freaking Cara 'cause her smart-ass is at freaking UCLA for a 10-day Medical Program! Jeeez louise. But anywho. 'Twas me, Meg, Gabs and Lo. Brought back so many memories of just us hanging out. I feel as if I'm neglecting them.. never asking them to chill or not even taking the time to talk to them. And I'd really like to apologize for it =/ I hate that I did that, 'cause I can see we've missed out on each other for this past Sophmore year.. me barely chillin' or taking the time to talk to them. Uggghh.. But! That's going to change (: My trust with them is really, still the same. My connection with them is undescribable haha. I can really be myself around them and feel I can still tell them things and they won't say one word. I love it! (: I can already tell they think or thought I've changed.. maybe not even in a good way =/ I think I went through a "cool" phase.. fucking bullshit. Hahah I'm no one compared to these girls.. they're too amazing. But probably one of my favorite times of today was talking to Gabby (: wow.. this is all homo sounding.. HAHA but really. I don't know. We're really going through the same stuff right now and the fact that we couldn't help each other or give each other advice was hilarious because it's all the same shit.. LITERALLY. I guess it's just comforting to know I'm not alone in this. No one in the world is alone in certain situations. I really need to instill that in my head because the certain emotions I've been feeling are no bueno.. and are basically for no reason. Mmm idk. From now on.. I'm gonna try to keep my neglect to these girls plus Cara! on the low.. MAAAJOR. I need them for the rest of high school.. It'll be nothing without them (:



PS I've been listening to Erased by Chris Brown for the whole day.. I can't stop hahaha.. I mean it's sad.. but really it makes me feel better I think! HAHA



"C'monnn.. Can't you see? I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve"



_Alyssa

<333

a lees s uh h (12:12:46 AM): youre smiling reaaal big huh

a lees s uh h (12:12:46 AM): hahah

abc (12:12:50 AM): yeah.

abc (12:12:51 AM): hahahaha

abc (12:13:41 AM): i hate you lees.

dtm (12:27:19 AM): last 2 nights i wen to bed at like 5

a lees s uh h (12:27:55 AM): whoa why?!

a lees s uh h (12:27:56 AM): hahah

a lees s uh h (12:28:02 AM): ohhh!

a lees s uh h (12:28:05 AM): ;D

a lees s uh h (12:28:07 AM): nvm ;D

a lees s uh h (12:28:08 AM): hahaha

dtm (12:28:29 AM): haha you already know apparently

dtm (12:28:34 AM): how do you know???

a lees s uh h (12:28:43 AM): i just know these things

a lees s uh h (12:28:45 AM): hahah

a lees s uh h (12:28:50 AM): been there, done that ;D

They're so freaking cute.. it should be illegal. Hahahaha.. Aww.. no joke though, I kinda miss that feeling. Haaa. When they're were talking to me I got freaking butterflies! That's really the best feeling in the world. Seriously, the littlest things from.. Goodmorning to smiley faces to 'have a good day' to Goodnight and even just spontaneous 'Hello. How are you doing?'s' make me so happy haha. From friends to 'lovers' hahah idk it just gets to me. I really appreciate every little word said to me haha. I've noticed that when those little calls or texts that I've gotten.. I didn't appreciate before.. but since I rarely get them anymore it's kind of just weird/sad hahaha. I don't know. I realized I got annoyed to easily and took things like that for granted. I don't want been there, done that's.. I want the right here, right now's. Hahahah . Mmm it's okay though haha. I'll just deal (: I just need to remember to not take shit for granted now.. mmhm! Goodnight everyone :D


_Alyssa

Wow

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope."

This is freaking brilliant. Hahahah. He's Just Not That Into You is the most amazing movie ever.. next to Up and Mean Girls haha. Damn.. so freaking true though.. ahhhh.


"You're the exception"
I WILL be the exception, bitch. Haha..



_Lyss

Shannon Brown

Is fucking HOTTTTTTTTT! Hahahah and I don't even cuss shooot. Oh m' lord <333 Trev Ariza can suck it on the Rockets! Hahah jk I still love him.. even if he leftttt.


Mmm and I pretty much love Brandon 'Bee' Abrera :D Aww I miss chillin' with him so much! He's definitely my best fwend still (: Ahhh so good chillin' and talking with him today.. same old Bee still! (: Goodnight!



_Alyssa

I miss

Arlen James Ojerio. =/


(HELLA OLD! Summer before freshman year)


but.. No joke. I freaking miss this fool to the max. He is probably one of the few people that have made a huge ass impact on my life. He has taught me so much.. in happiness and sadness. We have it pretty easy compared to him. I find myself being all sad and thinking of him and seeing so hard it is for him.. it's pretty pathetic. He has been going overseas for the past two years, with some incidents that could have been very deadly. I love texting him because he's always so straight up with me and he tells me I make him smile hahah which is really good. I feel as if my ability to do so has been going down with everyone else =/ He has taught me to never take things for granted and to choose everything you do wisely. I wish he'd come home soon and for him to make things better and for him to get better =/ I love him so much. I just wish I could be as strong and as positive as him sometimes.



_Alyssa

Been a while.

Mm mm mmmm sucha stud muff ;D He can sing for me.. ANYDAY!


Long story short.. I miss Alaska, The Golden Princess, A-squad, My cousin's from Florida, Staying on the deck 'til 4 AM, hot ass white boy ;D, My Ate Karmina, My nieces and nephews, My friends, Cara (HAHHAHA), The old.. not hot days hahaha, Old days, Simple.. not complicated shit, anddddd YOU (:


I wish things could be so simple, but they can't! Pero, for now I'm fine, having fun with everything and everyone. And I'd like it to stay that way! For now hahah. I don't like long shit anymore.. this is too long already hahah. Short and simple. Peace out.




_Lees