I've come to realize

that I'm not the same little teenager from seventh grade anymore. Hah of course right?


Before now.. I'd forget about anything and everything that caused me "emotional pain" lol. But really. And hey, I'm pretty jealous of me back then hah. 'Cause like I said, I'm not the same as I was before. I can tell that some of my emotions lately are taking a toll on a couple of things going on right now. I don't know, I'm not really going to complain because we live and we learn right? But it just feels weird to "care" about the types of things that I'm trippin or whatever about. I'm so tempted to go back and turn things around like I usually did or do, but I know I can't or at least shouldn't. I should have learned to speak up earlier because everything probably would have been better or at least "ended".. Instead of just spilling everything out when things started coming to an "end". End.. hm I don't like that word haha. I guess I'm just not used to things really, reaaally coming to an end. I've always liked to think of it as a "later!!!" hah. I think I'm done with "Oh no, don't worry.. I'll just forget about it tomorrow." phase. Because I know I won't hah. Even if I really want to forget about some things that happened recently.. maybe I'm meant to remember and meant to feel this way. One of my new close friends kept writing in they entry, "meant to be blahblahblaahh meant to be blahblah". (You should know who you are =] ) And everything really is meant to be, God wants us to feel "sadness", God really does have something coming our way in the long run. Therefore.. we should rejoice in our sadness because coming our way might be an amazing happiness because of the gloom we might be feeling at the time.


"It hurts but it may be the only way."




_Alyssa